I’ve been an M.Div student at Princeton Seminary for five months now, and while that’s hardly enough time to make a definitive study of the people and culture here, some impressions are certainly forming in my mind.  First among them is a rather stark, mostly unspoken, dichotomy between master’s level students and PhD students.  I’ll make the early disclaimer that by no means have I met all the PhD students at the seminary.  But I think by now I’ve met enough of them to see a pattern: They all seem to fall into one of three broad categories:

1. Assholes – You don’t even have to ask them if they’re PhD students.  You know.  And even if you did ask, it’s doubtful they would deign to respond.  When they do speak to you, it’s either because they are correcting you, or because they’re being paid to speak to you as Preceptors (Teaching Assistants).  They know just about everything there is to know, unless in the presence of an actual professor, in which case they suddenly become the most delightful, congenial people in the room.  The idea that an MDiv student might know anything worthwhile is preposterous — nevermind that as a “second career” student, I’m actually older than many of them, and have often had several more years of experience in both church and academic settings.  They are condescending both in and out of class. Fortunately, the genuine assholes are not nearly as numerous as the next category…
2. Wannabe Assholes – These are PhD students who, perhaps through insecurity, indecision, or apathy (I’m not sure which, possibly all of the above) don’t fit into categories 1 or 3.  Maybe they’re trying to be more humane assholes. They are the ones who wil strike up a friendly conversation with you as long as no one else is around, but then ignore you when in the presence of others. They may not correct you in person, but from a distance, you can overhear their opinions of MDiv students easily enough. They don’t *tell* you that your opinion/knowledge/experience is insignificant, but they still think it (and usually do a poor job of disguising their thoughts).  In my limited experience, this is the largest category of PhD students at Princeton Seminary.
3. Human Beings – Although I can count this variety on the fingers both of my hands, they are the few PhD students who make my experience here interesting and worthwhile.  They treat other students as peers, genuinely listen to and consider their thoughts, and go out of their way to make new MDiv students feel welcome and part of community life.  One in particular actually reached out to me and my family several months before we arrived on campus, and has continued to offer thoughtful and kind guidance in both academic and community matters.  They do not flaunt their intelligence at the expense of others, and are just as accessible in and out of the classroom.  They are a credit to their institution, and I only wish they were the rule, not the exception.

I have had all of the above as both acquaintances and Preceptors.  If you’re reading this as a PhD student at Princeton Seminary, and you happen to ask me which category you fall in, I’ll probably tell you “category 3.”  But there’s a 33% chance I’m lying to save face for both of us.  Actually, if you bother to ask me at all, you couldn’t really be in category 1, because you wouldn’t waste time reading the blog of a mere MDiv student (unless for the purpose of admonishing me about this blog post, or correcting my flawed and ingorant perspective). Instead of asking me, I’d suggest asking yourself how you *really* percieve the students you teach and interact with in community, and if your actions reflect your perceptions.

I’m resisting the temptation to draw conclusions about Doctoral work as a whole, but it does seem to me that perhaps the “PhD” as the pinnacle of academic achievement in our culture is likely to reflect its shortcomings — the cutthroat competition, the jockeying for position and influence, the arrogance (I know a few things about arrogance) and narrow-minded suspicion required to stake out a small patch of intellectual territory and rabidly defend it against all intruders (read “my precioussss…”) — these are all characteristics conducive to climbing the ivory tower, but they are not conducive to genuine education, learning, or sharing of knowledge for the benefit of others.  Even more so at a seminary.

Anyhow, I’ve got three years to change my mind on all of this, and I suspect that the PhD students in closest proximity will be the most influential in whatever final conclusions I come to.  Prove me wrong, Princeton.  Prove me wrong.

• A Primer of Biblical Greek by N. Clayton Croy
• The Nestle-Aland Novum Testamentum Graece
• A plethora of other Greek books, dictionaries, and flash cards graciously passed down and piled on my by two of my favorite PCUSA pastors, Philip Lotspeich and Glen Hunihan.

So far, I’ve met two other students in my class: One of them has taken Greek before at a different school, and the other has been studying furiously all summer long. No pressure.

Actually, pressure is something I’m starting to feel here, and not just about Greek. On one hand, the people we’ve met have been astonishingly welcoming and friendly, going out of their way to make us feel loved and at home. I get the sense that at least here in CRW (the seminary apartment complex) everyone kind of functions as one big extended family. But as soon as the conversations turn to academics, the tone changes, the eyes shift, and suddenly I feel like I’m back in undergrad running for student body president again. Only this time, *everyone* is running. And already ten miles down the road (sorry for the mixed metaphor).

A lot of the pressure seems to be about getting into a PhD program — and apparently there are many students who come here with no intention of going that route, but then get swept up in it anyhow. I’ve been told that to get into a decent PhD program, I’ll need to maintain a 3.8 or higher GPA, which means that A minuses are a bad, bad thing. I’ve also gathered that in addition to an M.Div, I’ll probably need another more specialized master’s degree to be considered by any top-tier school, and that my planned MA in Christian Education might not be “serious” enough for PhD work. Oh, and since I’m in my thirties already, if I wait too much longer to get a PhD, I might have a hard time getting accepted, since a younger candidate would be a better investment and have more years of productive reasearch/teaching in the field.

How much of this is true, and how much is exaggeration and/or hype? I don’t know yet. I was mostly just happy to be back in school again. I remember when I was in high school, there was a lot of peer pressure and competition to get into a good college (yes, I went to one of *those* high schools). And then in undergraduate, everyone seemed to be motivated to achieve so they could get into a good graduate program. Now that I’m finally here (ten years later) this is familiar — everyone is still focused on “what comes next.” To borrow a programming metaphor, I wonder if that’s a feature, or a bug, in our culture? Perhaps both, to some extent.

I talked to my brother, Jeff, on the phone the other night, and he helped me put a lot of things into perspective. Because seriously, who really needs a PhD to start a micro-brewery monastery? I’ve always thought I would go on to get one someday, but if I do, I think it will be on my own terms, and for the sake of the knowledge, not the image. By striving hard to “achieve” and outdo those around me in this competitive academic environment, I would essentially be “conforming” to the process and doing “what everyone else is doing.” And I’ve never been about conformity, now have I?

Time to go study some Greek. Everyone else here may be looking for a grade, a spotlight, or even the ability to read the New Testament a more original form. Not me — I just want to be able to read Homer’s Odyssey in it’s original language…

In addition to bringing the two Gradys together, we’re here for homecoming weekend at Oral Roberts University, my alma mater. I know, I know, homecoming is supposed to be in the fall (I always have to explain this) unless of course, your college doesn’t have a football team. We have a homecoming basketball game. Weird, I know, but probably not the strangest thing about ORU by far.

Actually, ORU has been in the news a lot lately, and I’ve even blogged about some of that a few times. In a nutshell, the chief nut, Richard Roberts (Oral’s son) resigned the presidency a few months ago amidst pending lawsuits and allegations of excessive, innappropriate spending. Other nuts on the board of regents resigned too. Then, a very wealthy man named Mart Green (the guy behind the movie “End of the Spear” steps in and offers to bail ORU out of its 60 million dollar debt (racked up by Oral and Richard). Mart Green is now the chairman of the board of trustees of ORU. I know that sounds a little fishy, but at this point I’m wiling to give him the benefit of the doubt. From my experiences as student body president my last year at ORU, I lost all respect for the Roberts family, so I’m excited about the possibilities surrounding ORU for the first time in a long time. In part, it’s why I’m here.

Oh, and this also happens to be my ten year reunion. That’s kind of wierd, too. Reunions are just plain awkward. Especially here. And now. For me. Ah, well…to quote the bard:

Once more, into the breach, dear friends, once more;
Or close the wall up with our English dead.
In peace there’s nothing so becomes a man
As modest stillness and humility:

Let’s see, Regent University, the school Pat Robertson bought founded and is currently screwing helping, has been in the news lately: It seems that all the geniuses who helped former US Attorney General Alberto Gonzales get himself into legal deep doo-doo just happened to be Regent Law School graduates! Must’ve been the required fundamentalist legal ethics courses.

But I’m sure all that has nothing to do with Robertson, right? The school has achieved some great things under his leadership, like a bar passage rate that’s well below the state average, and being ranked as a bottom-tier school by US News and World Report.

And now he’s giving ORU advice. Hey, maybe he could be the next ORU President? Maybe ORU and Regent could merge? That would be fun…

MESSAGE TO PAT ROBERTSON: Stay the #$@^% away from my Alma Mater!

• ORU needs a President who is *not* a polarizing figure.
• ORU needs a President who is *not* a televangelist or a minister.
• ORU needs a President who can bring healing, not more division.

And more selfishly, I need an undergraduate degree that holds its value and is respected in the world of Academia (stop laughing), not just in the land of the Religious Right. I was really thinking wishing dreaming hoping that ORU was finally on its way to becoming that…

Oral Roberts University President Richard Roberts issued a written statement on Wednesday saying he is taking an indefinite leave of absence, following intense scrutiny spawned by financial, political and other allegations raised in a lawsuit.

This announcement comes eight days after Roberts said on national television: “I have not done anything wrong for which I needed to step aside.”

Billy Joe Daugherty, pastor of Victory Christian Center, has been named executive regent and will lead the university while Roberts is on leave, said George Pearsons, chairman of ORU’s board of regents.

On one hand, I’m astonished. For the first time *ever* a non-Roberts is at the helm of the university. Personally, I think it should have been that way from the beginning. But on the other hand, it’s Billy Joe Daugherty — possibly the most like-minded-evangelical-loyalist-minister-from-right-across-the-street they could have found. And apparently, Richard is still living in the mansion, getting paid, and calling the shots for all the related non-university ministries.

Obviously, I’m not qualified to pass judgment on the allegations. Oh, heck with that, yes I am. The deeper they dig in this investigation, the more twisted and illegal activity they’ll find. During my last year at ORU, I was the student body president — I ran on an “anti-administration” platform (because I thought the university was irresponsible with student money, among other things). When I was elected, rather than address the concerns of the students who had put me in office, the administration immediately took steps to isolate me and cut off my access to people and sources of information that were granted to both my predecessors and those who succeeded me. Gee — I wonder why they did that?

I’ve also watched them (and by “them” I mean Lindsay Roberts, who holds no official position in the University) repeatedly fire qualified administrators throughout the years the second they raised any legitimate concerns about the Roberts family. All were immediately replaced by extreme loyalists. I think George W. Bush must’ve studied the leadership and management technique of ORU before he took office. Come to think of it, there are a lot of similarities between Richard and George. Except I think George Bush is more open, honest, and responsible, and oh my God — did I just say that???

I’d better stop before I get too worked up, here. And I was doing so good with my “ORU bitterness recovery” the last few years…

UPDATE: Richard Roberts has officially and permanently resigned, and the board of regents has voted to officially separate (legally and financially) ORU from the Oral Roberts Evangelistic Assocation (basically, the Roberts family ministry organization). This is great news! A new era begins, and I hope ORU will rise to the occasion. You can read up to date coverage here.

On the housing side, I finally managed to convince Amy (who wasn’t impressed by the lack of washer/dryer hookups in the family housing) by voluntarily enslaving myself as the Locke family laundry-boy for the next four years.

Although I essentially went with what had been my first choice all along, it was still a more difficult decision than I anticipated, which speaks well of Presbyterian seminaries, Columbia and Austin in particular. I trust, however, that PTS is the right place for me and for our family as we move forward in this next big adventure.

Not too fast, though. I also applied for (and was granted) a one-year deferment. This gives Amy time to complete her commitment as a Deacon for our church, and gives me a little bit more time with the youth at Faithbridge before we go. And hopefully it won’t take us a full year to sell our house, but one never knows… Anybody looking for a nice 3 bedroom / 2 bath in Frisco, Texas?

It’s been a good weekend, and it’s winding down, now. We saw old friends and made some new ones. Grady got to go to chapel (his favorite — he’ll make a good PK). I thought visiting Columbia Theological Seminary (in Decatur, GA) would make the decision easier. I think I came with my mind pretty much made up (in favor of Princeton), and now it is less so.

Of the three seminaries we decided to visit (and apply to), this is the last. Incidentally, if you want to see how family friendly a school is, bring your wife and two-year-old son along for their “preview weekend.” You’ll probably be the only ones with a child there, but you’ll learn quickly who’s for real, and who just talks about “community.”

Anyhow, when we visited Austin seminary, it didn’t seem right. It’s a good school, and so many pastors I know speak highly of it, but it just wasn’t what we were looking for in a seminary.

Which leaves Princeton Theological Seminary (to which I’ve been accepted) and Columbia (for which I’ll be staying up late tonight and completing my application). We like both, and for different reasons. Many things seem about equal between the two, but there are three critical areas that are shaping up to be deciding factors:

The first two kind of cancel each other out (or at least I don’t see much likelihood of either school shifting in the opposite direction), so it’s looking like things may eventually hinge on the dual degree program. If I’m accepted into it, Princeton gains a definite edge. If not, we’re back to square one and all things being more or less equal between the two. I won’t know until March, so…that means more waiting.