Then one of the twelve—the one called Judas Iscariot—went to the chief priests and asked, “What are you willing to give me if I hand him over to you?” So they counted out for him thirty silver coins. From then on Judas watched for an opportunity to hand him over.

When evening came, Jesus was reclining at the table with the Twelve. And while they were eating, he said, “I tell you the truth, one of you will betray me.” They were very sad and began to say to him one after the other, “Surely not I, Lord?”

Jesus replied, “The one who has dipped his hand into the bowl with me will betray me. The Son of Man will go just as it is written about him. But woe to that man who betrays the Son of Man! It would be better for him if he had not been born.”

Then Judas, the one who would betray him, said, “Surely not I, Rabbi?” Jesus answered, “Yes, it is you.”

Then Jesus went…to a place called Gethsemane…Judas, one of the Twelve, arrived. With him was a large crowd armed with swords and clubs, sent from the chief priests and the elders of the people. Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with them: “The one I kiss is the man; arrest him.” Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, “Greetings, Rabbi!” and kissed him.

Jesus replied, “Friend, do what you came for.”

When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the silver coins to the chief priests and the elders. “I have sinned,” he said, “for I have betrayed innocent blood.”

What is that to us?” they replied. “That’s your responsibility.”

So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself.

From a different story (one you probably didn’t hear):

Each one of you plays the hero in your own story, but chances are you’ve also been assigned the role of villain once or twice in someone else’s story, perhaps without even realizing it.  Now imagine if that story — not your story — were the only story to survive…

Jesus warned me this would happen. He said, “You shall be cursed for generations…but you will come to rule over them. You will exceed all of them, for you will sacrifice the man that clothes me.”  Jesus was a great man…but Matthew? Matthew was a liar. Well…he did get a few things right.

The bit about the 30 pieces of silver is true enough. I did go to the Pharisees. We did agree on a price. Do you really think our plan would have worked if I’d said “Jesus sent me to you because he wants to turn himself in, and he wants you to kill him.”  No.  Jesus was right.  The only language the Pharisees understand is money. And they bought our story—hook, line, and sinker.

Now the last supper…you should have seen the look on the other disciples’ faces when Jesus said “The one who has dipped his hand into the bowl with me will betray me.” Who hadn’t dipped their hands in that bowl that night? They really scrambled to get themselves off the hook, each loudly protesting his innocence.  But is that what a true friend does? Clear his own name when he’s most needed? Jesus meant it when he said “Woe to that man who betrays the Son of Man! It would be better for him if he had not been born.” But I wish you could have seen his eyes…his eyes looked right at me, and they said, “I’m sorry, my friend, for what they’re going to put you through in my name.”

He called me friend one last time after that. It was in the Garden, when I brought the chief priests and the elders to arrest him. The sign was pre-arranged, but not between the Pharisees and me. If all that was needed was an identifying sign, I could have just said, “The one I slap is the man; arrest him.”  No.  A kiss is how you say goodbye to someone you love. It was our sign, our plan.  But Jesus must have seen in my eyes the doubt and uncertainty.  Could I go through with it?  What kind of friend… Even in obedience… Calmly — Reassuringly — Compassionately — Jesus looked at me one last time and said, “Do what you came for…friend.”

Of course I gave the money back to the Pharisees. What need had I, or Jesus ever had for money? I wasn’t seized with remorse, though, and I didn’t hang myself. Didn’t I tell you Matthew was a liar? The disciples never understood Jesus while he was alive. Why would any reasonable person assume that would suddenly change after he died? It didn’t.

Jesus was my friend, and he sacrificed his life for me. Was it too much to ask that I sacrifice my name, my story for him?

____________________________

*Written for my Intro to Speech class.  The assignment was to retell a biblical story in your own words…or someone else’s.

I posted my vote via twitter a few hours ago, and I’ve already gotten several inquiries from both sides of the aisle wanting some elaboration.  What exactly did lead me to vote (for the first time ever) for a Republican Presidential Candidate, with whom I disagree with on a number of issues?  What exactly led me–a lifelong liberal democrat–NOT to vote for one of the most viable, historic, and articulate democratic candidates we’ve seen in many years? Honestly, it’s been the culmination of an eight-year long decision making process, and it hasn’t been easy.  Regardless of who wins tonight, I’ll be glad this is over.  But, for those who *really* are interested, here’s the story…

Background: Pre-2000

My first vote for a presidential candidate was Bill Clinton, but the first campaign I ever worked was for a democratic gubernatorial candidate in Mississippi, in 1987, when I was 12.  In college, I was the founding president of ORU Young Democrats, as well as the President of Tulsa Young Democrats, and for short time, the Parliamentarian for Oklahoma Young Democrats.  In those capacities and beyond, I’ve volunteered for countless democratic campaigns–senatorial, gubernatorial, congressional, mayoral, etc.  So, it really pisses me off when people question my commitment or contributions to the Democratic party.

That said, as my views on theology, education, and technology have evolved over the past decade, so have my views on politics.  I now consider myself a liberal libertarian.  That may sound like a contradiction, but if you want to know more about what that looks like, try here.  I still tend to agree with the democrats more than republicans, but I also realize that neither party (nor any candidate) is perfect, nor is either one evil incarnate, though they often toss that accusation at one another.

2000 Republican Primaries and Beyond:  Enter John McCain

Although I eventually voted for Al Gore, I was never that enthusiastic about him.  He seemed like a smart guy, but devoid of heart and passion.  I’ve since seen a little more of that side of him, but I didn’t see it in 2000.  And while my ears pricked up at Gov. George Bush’s call for “compassionate conservatism,” I didn’t really buy into the “conservatism” part of that equation.  But then there was John McCain, who, at one political rally in the primary season, waved a lightsaber in the air to the background music of Star Wars, and talked about the Bush campaign in terms of the “Evil Empire.”  That got my attention.  Through the primary season, I listened to him talk a little more, and he didn’t sound like any Republican I’d ever heard.  It’s now become a way-overused cliche, but he really did (then) come across as a Maverick.  If you know me at all, you’ll understand why that appealed to me.

When he lost the primaries, I kept following his words and actions in the Senate.  Every time McCain made the news, it was for doing something bold, bipartisan, and often something that said “screw you” to the powers-that-be, whether they were democratic or republican ones.  The one exception to this, of course, was his stance on the war in Iraq.  Despite this, I grew to admire McCain, and often found myself saying to others, “now there’s a Republican I could actually vote for…if he ever got the nomination.”  I was pretty certain that the mere fact that I liked him so much meant he never would.

2008 Primaries: They ALL suck!

When the 2008 primaries rolled around, like everyone else, I was ready for anyone but GW Bush.  Because of my sympathies to illegal immigrants crossing the border from Mexico, and the primacy of that one issue in my thoughts, I evaluated all the candidates in both primaries on that one issue alone.  They all sucked, especially the democrats.  Nevertheless, I voted for Hillary Clinton in the democratic primary–her “official” stance on the issue was just as bad as the others, but several Latino friends I talked with said they trusted her more on immigration issues than the others, as she had actually been working for and among them for most of her adult career.  Around that time, I also read a very unflattering magazine article about Obama by a reporter who had covered him as a state legislator.  He painted a picture of an arrogant, self-centered Obama motivated primarily by ambition to rise to the top, and overly concerned with his image.  I didn’t really put much stock in the article (the same things have been written about all the candidates) but over the next months, I began to notice little things here and there that did seem to hint at an “elitist” attitude in Obama.  I say “attitude” because I don’t think his background makes him an elitist.  John McCain is more subject to that criticism.  But there are times when Obama seems condescending.  It’s more of a gut feeling than something verifiable, but if we’re honest, I think we all rely to some extent on those feelings.

2008 General Election: Back and Forth

When it became clear that Obama and McCain would be the nominees, I leaned in the direction of McCain, but decided to hold out for awhile longer before making a decision.  Let me also say that at this point, I was disappointed with the way both were running their campaigns, and with the issues they both were staking out as “central.”  Personally, I think tax cuts are stupid in this kind of economy (sorry Trait), and both of them pander to the popular vote on this one.  Neither of them are talking much about immigration.

Barack Obama did two things that deeply, deeply disappointed me, however:

1. He broke his promise to rely on public financing for his campaign.  I understand all the arguments he made in favor of doing this, but to me it said that at the end of the day, politics is still all about the money.  I suspect that will be the same when and if he is elected.
2. He chose in a running mate the most boring, safe, white-milk-toast, uninspiring person he possibly could have chosen.  I realize that it was politically expedient of him to do so, but I was really hoping he would be bold and choose someone like Bill Richardson.  Or even Hillary.  Had he done so, I probably would have come around and voted for him.

Meanwhile, McCain wasn’t doing much better.  In fact, the McCain I remembered from 2000 seemed largely gone, but did rear up in at least one issue that I think was greatly mis-understood and mis-cast by my liberal friends:  his selection of a running mate.  Now, bear in mind that politically, I disagree with Sarah Palin almost across the board on most issues.  But I do think it was a bold choice.  Liberals dismissed it as him playing to the conservative base.  It was indeed that, but it was more.  If he just wanted to accomplish that, he could have nominated Mike Huckabee.  I don’t think Democrats truly understand that John McCain is about the only Republican in the world who could get away with nominating a woman as a VP candidate.  He did change the nature of the game in conservative land forever.  I also genuinely believe he chose someone with an “outsider” mentality–even if I disagree with her positions.  Biden, on the other hand, is the ultimate insider.  McCain is an outsider who happened to sneak “inside.”  But once he got in, he lost a lot of his appeal.

This was compounded a week or so ago when some ultra fundamentalists on facebook who told one of my Obama-supporting friends that she couldn’t be a Christian and vote for Obama.  I engaged in a (useless) argument with them, and even got some flack on my own profile, and for awhile really toyed with the idea of voting for Obama just out of spite.  That’s when I changed my facebook “middle name” to “Hussein” in solidarity with the many intelligent Christians I now who are passionate Obama supporters.

In the end, though, spite is not a reason to vote for someone.  I voted for McCain crossing my fingers and hoping that if he’s elected, the McCain I knew eight years ago would show up for the job.   I voted for him because of the many times I found myself saying “there’s a Republican I could vote for.”  I disagree with McCain on a lot of things, but I feel much more of a kindred spirit with him than with Obama.  I kept going back to this silly little game I play in my head:  If I were stranded on a deserted island, who would I rather spend a few days in conversation with, McCain or Obama?  To me, from what I’ve observed over the past decade, there’s just a little bit more of a well-rounded human personality to McCain, where Obama still seems to me just a candidate for office.  I really don’t know Obama.  If he’s elected, maybe that will change, and I’m more than willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

On the other hand, I’m also not a big fan of censorship. It’s too heavy-handed and too easy to abuse when you have the ability to make someone’s words just disappear.

So, I came up with a blog comments policy that might be, if not a *good* solution, at least an amusing one:

1. If you post comments to my blog, please make sure to include your real name and your email address. The only one who will ever see your email address is me, and I promise not to disclose it or use it for anything except to contact you, if needed.
2. If you don’t follow the above, the first time I’ll probably just nicely ask you to do so, and direct you to this policy.
3. Failing that, I will take any future comments you make anonymously, and run them through the Pirate Speak text translator, and edit them to appear that way on the blog. Hence, your comments will still stand, and be mostly intelligible, but they’ll probably also sound pretty ridiculous.
4. If you just *have* to post anonymously, you could save me the trouble by running them through the translator yourself before posting : )

There is one possible exception to this: I have a Presbyterian minister-friend who sometimes posts anonymously to various blogs she frequents, because she’s afraid that if her church ever came across her comments, they’d use them against her. While this is certainly a sad statement of affairs for the church, I can understand her need for protection. If that’s your case, I still want to know who you are before engaging in conversation with you, so if you have a similar reason for posting anonymously, just shoot a quick email to mstrlocke at gmail dot com and I won’t pirate-speak your comment.

Carry on then. Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum.

Though he probably would never admit it publicly, a friend of mine and I came up with the concept of “Masturbation Church” a few months ago, as a great title for a book that will probably never be written. In the age of the Purpose Driven Church, and the Seeker-Sensitive Church, and the Attractional Church…why not include the shady underside (and possible cause) of all these church “growth” (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) books?

Then, a few weeks ago, at the Presbyterian National Evangelism Conference in Nashville, I brought the idea up in a workshop I was leading — not quite knowing whether people would laugh or throw things at me. Surprisingly, when I explained the concept, it really resonated with the audience (who were mostly pastors and church workers).

So. What is “Masturbation Church?” In a nutshell, three things:

1. Church where our main goal is to “pleasure ourselves.” Or, to put it in terms I hear all too often, church where we come to “have our needs met” or because of what the pastor, or a program, or the worship, “can do for me.” Me, me, me. Spiritual Masturbation.
2. Church that gives no pleasure to others. Similar to #1, but with a distinction: In sex, the goal is not just to please ourselves, but also to please our partner, a loving act of giving and generosity. Likewise, the church exists primarily to be a generous blessing to those “outside” the church, like the poor, the sick, and the marginalized. You can’t do that locked up alone in the bathroom…or the church building.
3. Church that does not reproduce. Just as evolution requires humans to reproduce in order to survive as a species, so the church must reproduce itself in order to carry God’s message of love and hope into the future. But too often, we’re just “spilling our seed on the ground” (i.e. wasting our resources) oblivious to the fact that Sunday mornings are getting more, well…lonely.

Now, don’t get me wrong here. I’m not saying that masturbation is “wrong” or “evil” — for people or for churches. Just that it has consequences — especially if that’s “all” we ever do, to the exclusion of our partners, and, in the case of the church, to the exclusion of a hurting world.

Unfortunately, while this masturbatory metaphor is great for a blog post, I’m not sure if it’s, umm, “big enough” to, err, “fill” (oh, let the dirty puns roll) an entire book. And like everything else under the sun, it’s probably not entirely original, either. Nevertheless, If you’re brave enough, share your thoughts on this one! That is, don’t keep them (ahem, ahem) “to yourself.”

• For relatives who’ve been asking (or generous wealthy people randomly wandering through) I’ve updated my Christmas wish-list at froogle. You can see it by clicking here. Mostly the usual…Camping stuff, Woody Guthrie & John Steinbeck stuff, etc.
• I’ve posted a few more videos of Grady on Youtube. You can see them all here.
• Saving the best for last–I am very, very, VERY proud of my former Academic Decathlon students at Sunset High school–this month they participated in District Competition against all of the other schools in the Dallas school district (one of the largest in the nation). They made history by placing FIRST. That means they beat EVERY SINGLE MAGNET SCHOOL and all of the affluent white-bread North Dallas schools. For an inner-city, mostly hispanic school with all the accompanying challenges and educational obstacles, this is huge. I was honored to be there, and it’s a day I’ll remember for a long time.

Speaking of frightening thoughts, Doc, Mrs. Grimes, Mr. Kendrick, Mr. Suttle, and I (all the Pre-AP and AP English teachers) got together for dinner tonight, plotting new and evil schemes to deprive our students of their social lives. We also got to talk with representatives from the RAE program about college scholarship opportunities–to my freshmen who have already been asking about this: Keep asking. We’ll talk.

Decathletes: Please don’t forget to check the Acadec page from time to time–scores aren’t the only things I’m posting there.

In “baby related news,” still nothing to report–today at least. Amy and I may finally have a name we can agree on, but that doesn’t mean you’ll get it out of us… The “official” due date (which means nothing) is September 8th, and we’ve had all sorts of predictions and bets about when he’ll come. Amy thinks perhaps the 5th, but I’m putting my money on the 14th. He’ll be late (like his mother). Your guess???

On the subject of new names (she’ll hate me for this, I’m sure) Noemi Beltran is in need of a middle name. Seems her parents forgot to give her one. I’m officially opening the floor to suggestions. Only nice ones, please. She gets to choose the winner, and I’ll put up five bison bucks for a prize. Creative writing students are especially encouraged to participate.

In conclusion, the year seems finally off to a somewhat stable beginning, and I’m enjoying getting to know new faces while catching up with old ones. If you are one of the old ones and you haven’t found me yet, I’m in portable A, which is next to portable 21, and nowhere near portable B.

Blog on, Sunset. Blog on.