Fat Church

Ok, so my last church metaphor ruffled a few feathers, for better or worse. This one is perhaps less controversial (maybe less original, too) but still worth thinking about. It starts with a familiar metaphor from the bible itself: The church as the “body” of Christ. A body that is made up of individual members. And we want to be a healthy body, right?

So, imagine the following conversation:

RICK: Dude, have you heard about Joel? He’s been growing like crazy lately.

BILL: Yeah, I saw him just the other day. He’s HUGE! He must be 400 pounds, at least.

RICK: I wonder what his secret is. I mean, how can I grow that big?

BILL: Funny you should ask — he’s putting on a seminar next weekend. It’s all about things you can do to get bigger, faster. Like, one thing he says is that you should consume any food that you come across, even if it belongs to someone else.

RICK: Wow. That’s deep. Hey, do you think there’s such a thing as “too big?”

BILL: Don’t be silly. Growing is what healthy bodies do, so the more you grow, the healthier you must be. I’m hoping someday I can break 500 pounds. That would be awesome!

RICK: Hey, then you could host your own “growth” seminar. Maybe you could even write a book…


Fat Church — 4 Comments

  1. Actually, your masturbation metaphor is actually something that is thought of on the exchange of information between student and teacher. Basically, the relationship between student and teacher is akin to a romantic relationship. The exchange of information between them is like having sex. This is such a powerful relationship that it can be confused for real romantic feelings, and you see student/teacher romantic relationships form. Yes, it sounds creepy, but it’s the job of the teacher to divert this “love” of sorts to the subject that is being taught.

    So yeah, there are implications that can come out of this that are not really wanted, like your masturbation post. That’s all the more reason to explore it further instead of going the P.C. route. Just tell your church, so they don’t receive the surprise in a way that can get you fired. Or get you arrested if you want an extreme reason.

  2. Pingback: Mr. Locke’s Classroom » Beer Church

  3. Neal,
    Lisa Isherwood just published a book this year called The Fat Jesus. I’ll return it to the library after next week 🙂

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