Only Because Noemi Told Me To…

-What time is it? 9:35
-Are you a procrastinator? I’ll answer that question later.
-Are you happy? Why or why not? Yes. I have more reasons to be happy than space to type them, but mostly because I enjoy myself, others, and life in this world.
-Describe a happy memory of a time you’ve spent with the opp. sex. Watching an ultrasound of my unborn child with Amy, and discovering we would have a son.
-Describe how you feel rite now. Annoyed at people who deliberately misspell words like “rite” and “nite” in a pathetic attempt to sound cool.
-Describe your job. Do you like it? Why or why not? I love my job. My office is huge (it holds 30 desks) and filled with toys. I haven’t been to work in two months (summer vacation). I touch the future. Who wouldn’t love that kind of job?
-Do you believe in ghosts? Why or why not? Yes. I’m writing a story about one. Sort of.
-Do you believe in second chances? Why or why not? I do. That’s why I invented Bison Bucks. But I despise people who deliberately waste the “first chance” because they know there will be a second one.
-Do you find this statement true: At one point in a girl/guy friendship one of them will like each other even if it’s only for a lil’ while. Yes. But rarely will it be at the same time.
-Do you see the glass as half empty or half full. Why or why not? I’d rather drink the whole thing. Half empty OR half full is a waste of good milk.
-Do you stay in bed thinking or do you fall asleep in like 5 seconds? I’m married. I stay in bed talking with my best friend, then we fall asleep.
-How do you feel about rumors? Where there ever rumors started about you? Of course. Mr. Locke’s class is fun. Mr. Locke is a nice teacher. What a bunch of ….
-How do you react to change? If it is change initiated by me, I embrace it. If initiated by someone else, I observe, evaluate, then react accordingly. If it is inevitable, I smile and go about my business.
-How is your happiness level right now? (0-10) Somewhere between 7.5 and the letter b.
-If world war III broke out, what would you say? Ooops. I didn’t mean to press that button.
-If you could die your hair any color what color would you choose? If I could “die” my hair would that make it dead? On the other hand, if I “dyed” it, probably purple. Actually, I do that once a year. Homecoming week. At least, while I still have some left…
-If you had the chance to slow down your growth now and live to 500 years but it’s like a 50 year old body by then, would you go for it? Absolutely!!!! My mom is 50, and she is healthy, energetic, and travels everywhere. And she just got married, so someone definitely finds her attractive. 500 years. Wow. I could be ALL the things I want to be when I grow up.
-If you could live any where in the world where would you live and why? On a sailboat circumnavigating the globe.
-If you were trapped on a dessert island what one thing would you hope to have with you? Well…since it’s a “dessert” island, I guess a spoon would come in handy. And some chocolate sprinkles.
-If you woke up one morning and found out you were going to stay in the body you have now for the rest of your life, what would you think? Yay! But can I have just a little more hair?
-Is cursing a necessity in life? Abso-freaking-lutely NOT!
-Is it right to flirt if you are in a relationship? Not if you want to STAY in the relationship. Whether or not YOU think it’s right, your partner almost always won’t.
-What 5 people do you trust and are open with the most? My wife, myself, my mother, my pastor, and my siblings. Yes, I know, that’s more than five. And Doc, too.
-What annoys you? People who are constantly late. Excuses. Oh, and especially conservative republicans. Oooh, and rich people, too. (Of course, the last two usually go hand in hand).
-What coat do you wear in the winter? I keep losing them.
-What do you care about the most? That’s a difficult question. I’m not sure I can give a very good answer, but I definitely care about my family, my friends, and my students.
-What do you do to relief stress? Correct silly grammatical errors. Like “relief” stress. I think the author meant “relieve.” Actually, I take it back–grammatical errors CAUSE me stress.
-What do you think of guys who wear nail polishes? I wore nail polish two weeks ago. On my legs. To get rid of chiggers from my camping trip–Amy had a blast painting my bites with nail polish. She offered to do my toes too, but I ran away quickly and hid in the bathroom.
-What do you think of lies? What is the biggest lie you ever told? Lies hurt most the person telling them. I once lied to get one of my little brothers in trouble. It worked, and he got the biggest spanking of his life. He cried the ghastly cry of someone unjustly punished, and I can still hear it in my head almost fifteen years later. He has forgiven me, but the guilt I feel will always be with me, and I regret it greatly.
-What do you think of soul mates? I’m glad I found one.
-What do you think of the quote “The eyes are the passageways into the soul”? No, I don’t think so. I would say that a person’s actions are the passageways to his soul.
-What food brings back good memories? Why? Fritos covered with freshly cooked chili. Christmas afternoon growing up in the Locke family.
-What happens when you hear the word Christmas? See the previous question.
-What is a song lyric that means something to you? “I’d rather be anything but ordinary” by Avril LaVigne.
-What is going on in the world that affects you the most? Why? What an ambiguous question. What’s going on in the world that DOESN’T affect me in some way or another. We live in a very interconnected, interdependent world.
-What size is your bed? Queen, but I only get to use half of it. Or less.
-What time did you go to sleep last nite? What time do you go to sleep most? Somebody REALLY needs to learn how to spell “night!” And it was sometime in the middle of Saturday Night Live. The time varies from season to season.
-What’s an object that you can’t live without? If I require “objects” to live, then I’m doing something wrong. So…nothing.
-What’s something a girl can wear that’ll turn you off? Slutty clothing. Which seems to be a trend among waaaaay too many girls these days. I lose respect pretty quickly.
-What was the last thing you cried over or got teary about? Believe it or not, a short story I’m writing.
-What’s something someone has done to make you hold a grudge against him or her? Joy Lea. It was in college and it could take up several long and boring pages. Basically, she was the epitomy of much that I despise in humanity. You know–rich, selfish, spoiled-brat, hypocritical, holier-than-thou, republican type. Times ten.
-What something you always have with you? My intellect.
-What’s the funniest word you ever heard? It’s a tie between onomatopoeia and hypochondriac.
-What’s the nicest thing any one has ever told you? “I do.” (My wife on July 8, 2000)
-What’s your opinion on love? There’s plenty to go around, but most people (unfortunately) would rather have money. Or power.
-What’s one facial feature you’d like to change about yourself? I’m quite happy with my goofy, lopsided, silly face just the way it is, thank you very much.
-Who was the last person who complimented you? Someone at church today (they’re really good at that!).
-Would you rather be married in Venice Italy or Honolulu Hawaii? How about El Paso, Texas?
-Would you rather be rich with 15 kids or barely making it with only a dog? Oh–definitely the dog. And not because of the 15 kids either (which I wouldn’t mind). If I’m ever rich, please shoot me before I cause the world any more harm. Money will betray you, but a dog will be loyal to the end.

-What’s your favorite:
-Animal~ Dog. Either a Beagle or a Jack Russell Terrier.
-Food~ Tamales. That’s a hint, people. You think I teach in Oak Cliff for the money?
-Movie~ Dead Poet’s Society and a handfull of others. Maybe Top Gun.
-Number~ 27. Of course.
-Quote/Motto~ Not sure, but Mrs. Grimes has one I really like on her blog.
-Season~ Summer, except for when it rains and I have to mow the grass.
-Song~ At the moment, “100 Years To Live,” by Five For Fighting.
-Color~ Red.
-Hobby/Pastime~ Sailing, Writing, Camping, Hunting, Reading, Playing various musical instruments, and playing poker.
-Which one:hat or visor? Hat
-Pizza or burgers? Pizza with hamburger topping.
-Letter or e-mail? Email. I never check my snail-mail box. But then again, sometimes I don’t check my email either.
-Florida or cali? Neither. Both are entirely too commercial.
-Waffles or pancakes? Neither. Crepes.
-Football or baseball? Football. Go Denver Broncos! Cowboys Suck.
-What time did you finish? 10:50. And since I have many other things to do, filling out this survey is also my answer to question number two.

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